you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
