Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
