? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
