Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
