i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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