my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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