why didn't you poke me back
My friends, they love my intelligence
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
