is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize