Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
