I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
