i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
