i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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