Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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