So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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