if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
