you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
