i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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