im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
