All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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