I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just google imaged poop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
