my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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