WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
