the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
