Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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