He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
