Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
