my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize