She is in my trunk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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