My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
