it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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