Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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