come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
