Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
