And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
