I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So much rum. So many feels.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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