she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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