Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
