we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
