im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
