My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
