Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
