I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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