New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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