Me. At least after what I've been through.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
