I love black thongs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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