Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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