Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
