the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
