thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
