Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize