I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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