plz talk dirty to me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
