if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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