Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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