question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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