Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
