I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
the liver wants what the liver wants
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
