As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
wow bdsm is so cute
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
