just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
