Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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