I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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