i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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