Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
