You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
