Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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