If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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