I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
