i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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