Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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