my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
