you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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