i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
