Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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