if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
