Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize